Introduction. And... The Nice Guy vs. The Jerk

My name is Shurland. A few people call me Shurlz. The name stuck.

I've decided that it's best to just jump right into things.

And today's topic (see title):

Firstly, I'll quote the old saying: "Nice guys finish last."

This saying is absolutely true.

Apparently, I am a nice guy. Personally, I do not think so myself, but I have been called this many times. By women. It seems that being cordial to women and treating women as human beings has earned me this title. Therefore, I speak from a personal perspective (and probably bias).

Generic Reporter: So Shurlz, why would you, a "nice guy", say that the saying is absolutely true?

Shurlz: Here is why.

Nice guys are nice.

As a result, anyone can predict his movements. For example, if a friend-girl of the nice guy says: "I need a favor", the nice guy will ask her what the favor is and will offer to help in anyway he can. Always. 100% of the time. Also, the nice guy is nice to all girls. Always. Life becomes boring when you can predict everything that is going to happen. I personally call that "stability" but most people call that boring. So assuming that's boring, why in the world would a girl want to spend her life with someone with whom she will always be able to predict?

Think about it. Humans crave unpredictability. It makes life fun.

Any nice guy over 21 knows this. He knows this because he has had a lot of time to think since he has been alone all this time. It is around this age that most nice guys declare "F*** this, I'm going over to the winning side." And rightly so. So they stop being nice guys, become jerks, have many girlfriends (possibly simultaneously) and go on merrily about their lives. However, there are a few (for example yours truly, I'm 25) who decide to keep on being nice to girls. Why do they do this?

They are clinically insane.

All scientists know that if you repeatedly do the same thing, under the same conditions, you will get the same result. Most human beings know this instinctively as well. So if nice guys know that their actions will yield no fruit, and they know that they want fruit, the question is why would they keep on doing something that yields no fruit. The only plausible explanation is insanity.

So nice guys, you now know why you cannot get a girlfriend, Not only are you boring, but you are insane. No girl wants a boring, insane guy.

For those of you who are only borderline insane, there is still time. Stop being a nice guy this instant and go be a jerk. Jerks are the sane ones. Your rewards will be many in the long run.

The End.

(Next topic: The Life Cycle of the Nice Guy - A Tale of Hopelessness?)